There’s More Than Money at Stake in the American Dream

The American Dream means more than becoming rich.

My father grew up in Appalachia. At 12, his father died, at 17, his mother. With no education, the sheriff advised him to enlist. Dad said "the Navy straightened me out." It gave him a skill.

With the G.I. Bill, he earned his G.E.D. at night. My mother went back to school, too. When my father was burned welding, my mom carried our family. At the end of his life, this man, raised on dirt floors, had lived the American dream; he supported himself and his family, we supported him, too.

Andrew Cherlin’s new book, "Labor’s Love Lost," confirms what anyone who grew up in a blue-collar family already knows: Work gives men self-respect, puts their economic houses in order, makes them attractive potential husbands.

Ask young people about their hopes, marriage and family top the list. Ask them why they cannot marry now, they say they need financial security first — to finish school, pay-off spiraling debt, get that first big job.

They want a stable family life, and marriage is key. The upper class knows this; they marry in droves.

For Dad, the military cleared a path to the middle class and a stable married family. What will provide that pathway now for the next generation of young men, like my nephew?

At 30, my nephew has his first steady job — changing oil at $10/hour. He is determined to be a day-in-day-out father for the new baby boy he has outside of marriage, although his chances of succeeding are statistically slim.

He has not missed a day of work. But given his learning disabilities, achieving his dream of becoming a certified mechanic is an almost unclimbable mountain because it involves a written test. Even jobs that the less educated used to do now require considerable reading and math ability — and often a degree.

President Obama has gotten flack for My Brother’s Keeper, but he was right to focus on men. For men, marriage and work go together. The absence of either creates suffering, not only for them but their children.

We could write men like my nephew off as mere child support debtors. But I believe these men deserve better. And certainly their children do.

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